gooollysandra

Thoughts on thoughts and images of beautiful things

Tag Archives: passion

Interiors

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Ever since I was little I can remember spending afternoons with friends after school rearranging the furniture in our bedrooms. I suppose I should have known then to pursue a career in Interior Design, but alas, I studied other things in college when I thought I wanted a life in academia. Now, after going to grad school for the humanities, I am finally realizing that I do indeed want to follow my dream of working with interior spaces in some way. Without having a degree in Interior Design, I am looking for other ways to gain experience in the field to start, namely the retail side of design, and then maybe eventually  become certified in design. Meanwhile, I am teaching myself on how to use the popular Google modeling program, SketchUp, which is a lot of fun!

Several years ago when I was in college, I set out to photographically capture the way that I had decorated my childhood bedroom at the time. Here are some snippets from that time in my life, which I think only reinforce my love of interior spaces and what one can do to crete them, fill them, decorate them, and enjoy them.

The Plague

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I am plagued by indecisiveness. I always have found it difficult to make decisions, from little things like picking what movie to watch to big things like choosing what college to go to, and it has become more of a problem lately as I have been faced with really important decisions that affect the rest of my life – i.e. picking a career and deciding who I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Why do I cringe when I hear the word passion? You would think that it is very easy to decipher what your passion is, but it’s not for me. I have been trying to identify my passion for a long time and it is becoming more and more evident just how important it is to do so now that I am part of the ‘working world’ and no longer a student.

The thing is, once you have identified a passion, you have to evaluate whether or not that passion is what you want it to be – whether or not you like it and can be proud of it. Sometimes I feel like I have succeeded in identifying my passion, but then when I think about it it’s not really something I would be proud to tell people about; or not necessarily that I wouldn’t be proud of it, but that perhaps in some way it’s not as worthy or as ‘good for society’ as some other careers.

It’s hard for me to let myself just feel what I feel and accept a passion without feeling the need to exert control over it. I feel like I’m constantly trying to control how I feel or what I want to feel and justify my interests before I let them turn into passions. I guess you can say I have control issues – not necessarily when it comes to other people, but more so with myself.