We build up worlds, or lives, up around us, but what happens when they fall apart? I’ve noticed this recently as my routine and my livelihood are constantly changing and it’s hard to know what my reality is. It’s a very strange feeling. But are our realities supposed to be constant, or is it only natural that they are always changing as we ourselves are constantly evolving? I guess only time and further experiences and changes will tell…
If my life was a movie…
0If my life was a movie, it would only be two hours long.
If my life was a movie, I wouldn’t have to do any real work. It would just appear as if I was doing work…my workday would be 1 minute long.
If my life was a movie, my relationships wouldn’t be real; they would just seem effortless and perfect.
If my life was a movie, there would be music playing in the background during happy and sad moments.
If my life was a movie, I would look perfect all of the time.
If my life was a movie, I would be somewhere else in the world besides Indiana.
If my life was a movie, I would have a fantastic wardrobe.
If my life was a movie, money would be no object.
Selfish
0One has to be selfish and self-absorbed to a certain extent in order to live in peace and remain sane enough to keep going in life. Otherwise we get so caught up with the inevitable sad things in the world and we fail to live our lives independently of those things, as we must since those sad things cannot really be helped, not solely by us anyway, and not completely.
Memorial Day – another reminder of how un-American I feel
0Having been born in Rome, Italy and grown up there for the first 8 years of my life, moving the U.S., especially Indiana, was not such a happy prospect for me. Consequently, I have never felt very American…I have just never really identified myself as an American. Not that I identify with being Italian either, since there are no Italians in my lineage and it’s been 10 years since I have been back to Italy, so I guess I can’t identify myself with any nationality, which is sometimes a scary thing. Where do I belong? I often think, on a day in Indiana when I am particularly aware of its unpleasantness, certainly not here. But then, on other occasions, I think it’s not all that bad. My family is here after all, and your family is really all you have.
On this Memorial Day Weekend, while all the true Americans were having their cookouts and drinking beer, I was reminded of how un-American I feel. I just can’t relate and I don’t fit in. It kind of disgusts me actually. I am not patriotic and I don’t understand it.
Bare skin
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What is it about bare skin that makes it so irresistible? This occurred to me recently since the weather is getting warmer and women (and men) are showing more skin. I, for one, wore a dress yesterday, and not to sound narcissistic, but I kept looking at my legs, especially in the evening when the light has a certain alluring effect on things, and thinking – what is it about bare skin that is so captivating? Maybe it’s the rarity factor – that bare skin is only seen occasionally and only by a few of the person’s closest family, friends, or significant others. Maybe it is its natural quality, that bare skin is such a natural thing, yet we often cover it up because we don’t want others to see it, even though they have bare skin too. Maybe it appeals to our sensuality, and even though we may not be overtly thinking about it, we subconsciously make a connection between bare skin and sensuality or sexuality. I think those that show their bare skin feel a sense of freedom, of not having to cover themselves up, of feeling the air or sunshine against their skin and it feels good.
Greens
0I have recently been inspired to do something with plants. I got a kitten a few months ago and now, due to her, we can no longer have plants or flowers in the house because her curiosity gets away from her. So, I have been trying to think of a way to still have some kind of greenery presence in the house without harming the kitty’s health.
There is a fabulous garden shop here in South Bend called Marigolds where I found some cute hanging quasi-terrariums. Inspired by the owner’s creations that she had on display, I thought it would be fun to create my own. So this is what I made, and it was so fun to make, I am thinking about getting another one!
Worldly connections
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Do you ever wonder what random people in other parts of the world are doing? Or how you can personally be connected to people in other countries? What parallels might run through people living completely separate lives in completely different places? Since I love traveling and have been to most of the countries in Europe, I sometimes think about what people might be doing at any given moment in Rome or Paris, or Singapore, a place I have not been to. This thought occurred to me this morning as I was waiting at a stop light and there was a man on a moped in the lane next to me. In northern Indiana, this seemed very out of place because one in a million people drive a moped here. But as I grew up in Italy, I was used to seeing people on mopeds constantly since it is such a common, natural way to get around there. So when I saw this man on the moped this morning, I thought about Italians that were riding their mopeds in Rome at that very moment, a world away. It is interesting how something like that can remind you of something that occurs in a different part of the world, and while you are not personally experiencing it in that other part of the world, by seeing it where you are, you are connected to others that might be doing it somewhere else in the world.
Sometimes I think – How can I be connected to every single person in the world? We can, quite easily actually, because we are all joint by human nature. But we are also connected on a more personal level in that we share similar experiences of thought, emotion, hope, despair, etc. even though we may be worlds apart and lead very different lives. This is one of the things that makes life beautiful – to think about people in other parts of the world and feel connected to them. I only wonder if they share the same feeling…
Death
0What comes to mind in the instant you find out a loved one has died? Today I found out that my grandmother died, and my first reaction was a flicker of love, just for a moment, before what had happened really hit me. It was a surprise, although she has been ill for quite some time, because it seemed to happen without warning and out of the blue. In an instance like this one is sad, of course, but I am also relieved because her quality of life has not been dignified the past couple of years ever since her stroke. When thinking about death, it always amazes me how the difference between life and death is so vast, yet the movement from one to the other happens so swiftly – in an instant, literally. It seems as though the transition from life to death should take longer than a second…
Calm after the storm
0Have you noticed the difference between peoples’ reactions to things in the heat of the moment and then afterward as they reflect on what they were so anxious about previously? It is an interesting phenomenon…to see people so worked up over something and then the calmness that comes after – the calm after the storm. Some might wonder how they could have acted in such a way during the moment or had such an intense reaction. I think people are often surprised when they step outside of themselves and observe their actions, and I think this is such a case. It is kind of like an out-of-body experience when one steps back and observes themselves – was that really me?
Human touch
0Human touch is very important in life, and one need only go some time without it to realize this. Not only do we notice it’s effects when we don’t have it, its importance has been proven scientifically based on children who have not been touched or had much interaction with people at all. Children who do not have contact with a parent or caregiver who offer them their touch have substantial developmental and social problems. But human touch is important throughout one’s life as one gets older as well. Think about those who spend their lives alone without a partner or a family to speak of. I do not have personal experience with this, so I can only imagine how they must feel. I have been lonely though, and I think the lack of human touch would elicit a similar feeling to that of being lonely because it is essentially the same thing, even if someone who is alone does not feel lonely. This brings up another question – is it possible to be alone for a lifetime and not feel lonely? I really cannot say for sure, but I imagine not. I appreciate the human touch that I come into contact with, knowing that not everyone is lucky enough to have it or know what it feels like.
gooollysandra 