gooollysandra

Thoughts on thoughts and images of beautiful things

Monthly Archives: July 2013

Fantasies

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We all have fantasies about what we want to do in life. But the question is, how do we decipher a fantasy from what we want to turn into reality? I’ve often thought about different things that I would like to do, like teach English abroad, make movies, be an interior designer…but I can’t tell if these are things I would actually do, or if I just like to think about them. What propels one to actually carry out an idea rather than just think of it as a fantasy? I think it takes a great deal of perseverance to carry out what you actually want to do. Sometimes it’s easier to settle for something that you might not like quite as much, but is still somewhat enjoyable.

Stories

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We like to create stories about things or embellish things so that we can tell them to people and sound cool or interesting. It’s not real though…even if the event actually happened, the story is not going to be an accurate representation of what really happened. And the people we are telling the story to weren’t there, so even though they may feel like part of the event because they are hearing about it, they’re not because they weren’t actually there. It’s a very superficial thing, but we all love to tell stories.

A different world

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I recently had an encounter with someone on a completely different level from myself, just from a different world. I was out east visiting my grandfather in Massachusetts, and I met with one of my his former students that was in town and went to visit him. As she speaks about her life, it seems as though it is just so cultured and beyond what I can imagine to be someone’s actual daily life. She is Indian and she lives in Oslo and has also spent time in Singapore, she knows how to speak French Norwegian, and Hindi, besides English, she has had a successful career in finance working on Wall Street, she was educated in Ivy League schools, she lived in Paris when she was younger and then New York, she is married to a Norwegian, and she has three kids with very bright futures ahead of them. She also just built a nice modern house in MA with custom touches throughout. While in MA she plays golf everyday and enjoys summer plays. As I listened to her speak, I found her very cultured and interesting, but also privileged, critical, and pretentious. It’s great that she has had the background that she has and is able to live the way she can, but not everyone has the same opportunities. Not everyone has a multicultural, worldly family, not everyone can go to an Ivy League school, either because of prior education and grades or financial means, and not everyone can have a successful career in stocks. So while I was very interested in her and inspired by her as a model to aspire to, I was also discouraged because it seems unattainable for most people, including myself.

Weak muscles and bones

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I have recently become very aware of my bodily functions. Not so much bodily functions, but more so my muscles and bones. It is a strange feeling when you realize that your body is not indestructible and that your muscles and bones become weaker with wear over time. I have especially noticed it in my wrists, ankles, feet, and back. The scary thing is, that once your body starts to weaken there is no going back. Certainly you can exercise or have surgeries to restore certain ailments, but your original strength is gone. When I am aware and conscious of parts of my body that hurt or feel weak, I get a very strange tingling feeling and my body almost feels light, like it’s barely there and I can hardly imagine how it manages to do the things that it can and move around as it does. It’s very bizarre and I don’t quite like it.

Happy

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What’s the point of being sad about things in the world that you can’t change? People that are happy are live better and they shouldn’t be thought of as shallow or selfish just because they don’t think about the sad things in the world. It’s certainly worth a try to BE happy.

Aesthetics vs Feelings

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There seems to be a separation or a divide between aesthetics and feelings. I often look at pictures of things…cities, nature, landscapes, interiors, & see them one way from an aesthetic standpoint and admire them. But then, when I think about how they might feel if surrounded by them, I wonder if I would have a different feeling…