gooollysandra

Thoughts on thoughts and images of beautiful things

Tag Archives: feelings

Feelings reign supreme

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I am 90% guided by my feelings (let’s be real, more like 100%). When trying to evaluate something and make a decision about it I do weigh the pros and cons and at least try to think about it rationally, but ultimately it is the feeling part of me more than the thought part of me that guides my decisions and paths in life. I think this is because I am swayed by the feeling that something, anything, evokes in me and I attach a lot of significance to that feeling.

I was thinking about this the other night while in an Uber ride in Chicago. As I zipped through different neighborhoods I thought about the feeling that each one of those neighborhoods elicits in me and why that matters so much to me. As I’ve spent the past year trying to find an apartment in Chicago I’ve cared a lot about its placement within a neighborhood; because there are some neighborhoods that I really like the feeling of, and others that just don’t speak to me, and even give me an uneasy feeling (having nothing to do with safety or lack thereof)…just an uneasy feeling of not belonging, or a feeling opposite of home. But the neighborhoods that I do like, and feel at home in, I really like. What explains the affinity that I feel towards some neighborhoods and not others? I’m sure familiarity has something to do with it, and memories associated with that place. And the inexplicable feeling of home and being in just the right place at just the right time 🙂

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Sentimental

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A couple definitions that pop up when you search for the word sentimental (adj.) in the dictionary are:

expressive of or appealing to sentiment, especially the tender emotions and feelings, as love, pity, or nostalgia

weakly emotional; mawkishly susceptible or tender

I know I’m definitely a sentimental person and I’m not going to apologize for it. I may be weakly emotional and nostalgic, but I would rather be that than not feeling enough. I think having too many feelings and being able to express those feelings, although sometimes with great difficulty, is one of life’s beautiful tragedies. Beautiful because what are we but feeling beings at every turn and therefore have no choice but to express ourselves, and tragic because sometimes those feelings are not well received or returned.

Nostalgia is a funny thing because we know it’s pointless to reminisce the past and hope to return to a happy time, but those daydreamin’ minds like mine almost have no control and keep dreaming away. But can we be blamed for reminiscing happy times simply for the pure appreciation of those happy moments? I don’t think so. It’s heartening to know that we’ve experienced such happy moments and we must be grateful for them, because life is not always rainbows and butterflies.

So fuck it…we have the feelings we have and we just can’t help it. So keep on having those feelings and sharing them. In the spirit of Lorde (who I recently saw in concert and was absolutely amazing):

I am my mother’s child, I’ll love you ’til my breathing stops
I’ll love you ’til you call the cops on me

Theory vs. Emotion in Film

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When we say we like a movie, what are we really saying? Sure we can appreciate and admire  films for their form or content and we can like them for the ideas they convey or for their beautiful cinematography, but what is it that leads us to say we like a certain film? It’s the feeling they evoke in us. There are film theorists who will go great lengths to describe what signs are present in films that cause us to like them, or the ways in which certain films connote or denote things that make them ‘good’ films. But I don’t think that all that theorizing gets to the heart of what makes us like films. I think the power of film really lies in how they make us feel, rather than certain qualities that might be inherent in the film. How often do we like films solely because of their form or content and cast aside the emotions they evoke in us? Perhaps there are truly genuine film connoisseurs who can look at a film only for the ways in which it excels in terms of its medium (and I’m sure there are), but I find it virtually impossible to separate my emotions from my appreciation for a film while I am watching it. If this makes me an average film spectator, then so be it. I would rather remain an emotional film spectator than take the emotion out of the film-vieweing experience and look at films purely from an intellectual standpoint.

Fleeting

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Moments, feelings, thoughts are so fleeting that I don’t know how anyone can ever know for certain how they think or feel about something. This is my experience anyway. I may feel something at one point, but it is rarely constant or continuous, so it is really hard to know how I actually feel. Moments – well these are obviously fleeting, although sometimes we can relive them after they have passed. This can be both dangerous, because it’s not good to live in the past at the expense of missing the present, and beautiful, because you can recreate positive memories, like a happy travel experience, with no detrimental consequences. Thoughts likewise come and go, and sometimes they go too soon, leaving you with no chance to fully formulate them cohesively. This can be extremely frustrating, as can fleeting feelings and moments, not to mention heartbreaking at times. I guess this is life though, at least as I experience it. I am curious if other people have similar ailments, as I might call them, because they can sometimes be debilitating, while not physically, certainly emotionally.

Aesthetics vs Feelings

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There seems to be a separation or a divide between aesthetics and feelings. I often look at pictures of things…cities, nature, landscapes, interiors, & see them one way from an aesthetic standpoint and admire them. But then, when I think about how they might feel if surrounded by them, I wonder if I would have a different feeling…