gooollysandra

Thoughts on thoughts and images of beautiful things

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10:33 pm - February 22, 2012 -

The implication of the connection between memories and our present state

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Memories – what really is their significance beyond simply being memories? When they go beyond only being memories and take hold of our present, when their reality should stay in the past and only linger in the present as memories…but perhaps sometimes we just don’t have the will power to keep them in the past.

Does it ever scare you that your best times in life may be in the past and that you may never experience life as fully or happily as you did at one time? What if the best is already past and not yet to come? This is a scary thought that sometimes hovers over me as I struggle to expel it because I know full well that the past is past and cannot be brought back.

What about how memories relate to the present? I mean, personally, I think we tend to think of the past and relish in memories in a way that immortalizes them and makes them seem better than the events actually were. When I think of certain memories, I associate a distinct feeling with them, and I would do anything to experience that feeling again in the present. But maybe I did not experience the feeling in that moment in the past, but am experiencing it more vividly now in this present moment as I look back on it. Therefore, the memory in the present is almost better than the memory in the past. So perhaps I should not lament the memories and wish they return, but rather relish in the present and enjoy the recollection the memories. Also, in this way, our memory of the past is a false one if it does not accurately represent how we felt in that moment in the past, but rather represents how we are experiencing the memory of the past in the present…

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2:36 pm - February 21, 2012 -

The inevitable injustice…

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Don’t you ever stand back to look at the world and hate the way it works?

There is such a vast disconnect between good and evil in the world, the two extremes never meet and face each other, and therefore the gap between them becomes increasingly more vast. What can be done about this scares me to think that it is virtually an impossible problem to solve.

When thinking about what I want to do with my life I feel that, as a relatively privileged member of society, it is my duty to help others. Not in a charity kind of way, but in a way that can positively make a long-lasting change. Perhaps the obvious way to do this is by working for non-profits for various causes. Or get in involved in the government. The problem with trying to make a change like this is that despite all the hard work you put into it, someone may come along and destroy everything you’ve done. This is the heartbreaking possibility that one must realize when endeavoring to make a change.

With so many tragic problems in the world, where does one begin? This is certainly a struggle I have tried to overcome. What issue or issues have priority? There is certainly no easy answer, so perhaps the one you have to go with is the one you are most passionate about, even if there may be many more pressing matters. Another struggle I  face, is in which way I want to help make an impact. It is not an easy decision, as I want to do what would bring about the most positive impact, and it is hard to tell which way that is until ventured…

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5:04 pm - December 12, 2011 -

“Once I wanted to be, someone I chose to be…”

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You know those moments when you are so inspired to be alive and be yourself? The self that you rarely are because you rarely have the courage or creativity to be…I had one of those moments recently when I went to Chicago. The city itself is so beautiful and culturally-rich that it inspires imagination from the moment you see the skyline as you approach the city. Once in the city, we went to a vintage fair filled with old treasures that brings one back to the past and back to oneself. After that we went to Wicker Park and perused all the cute boutiques and watched the people go by, including two French Bulldogs side by side and a dog tied up to a post that had a little mohawk, and ate some  fancy ice cream from the future. I don’t know what it is about being in the city and constantly surrounded by interesting people and sights that inspires imagination and creativity…but it works every time for me.

We finished the day by going to see Blind Pilot in concert. Going to concerts is one of my favorite things, because seeing live music, for me, brings out in me everything that I am and want to be. Cheezy, albeit, but I can’t think of any other way to describe it. I can’t forget the mild alcohol consumption that always makes for a good time. Am I right? I mean, let’s be honest. Anyway, seeing music being played makes me want to play an instrument and be in a band. My friends and I keep saying we’re going to start a band, with banjos and all haha, but it’ll probably never happen. I would play the keyboard, I think…the point is, that having the ability to elicit that emotion out of people that music does would be such a fun life pursuit.

Back to being oneself, we get so caught up with living our lives primarily surrounding our responsibilities, we seldom have the time or the energy to break out of that and simply live. Those few glimpses of ourselves that we get on occasions like this, being in the city and experiencing music (for me), or whatever it might be for you, may be all we get. And we cannot overlook them, as they occur so rarely.

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10:56 pm - November 20, 2011 -

Logic

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As I struggle to do my logic homework, I wonder what the implications of not being able to think logically are. And whether or not simply not being able to do a logic problem means that I can’t think logically. How important are logic problems to our ability to reason? Based on my less than affectionate attitude towards logic, not very. The problem is, my brain just cannot seem to make the connection between logical symbolism and the premises and conclusions it is suppose to represent. Furthermore, I don’t particularly like logic, and therefore can’t seem to force myself to put forth the effort required to fully understand it.

The reason I am not very fond of logic is because to me, it sucks the life out of words. It’s goal is to simplify everything and, in a sense, create a universal language that everyone can understand through symbolism. While it may simplify individual words to symbols, these symbols do not convey any emotion to me. The reason I love words so much is because they convey emotion and feeling and life! Words can be ambiguous on purpose to leave interpretation up to the reader, and this is what makes words interesting and intriguing. Symbolic logic does not leave anything up for interpretation because it simply, and without emotion, states what it means. And this is bothersome to me. Another reason I struggle with logic is that it is very closely related to mathematics, an area of study that has seldom been my friend.

Although, I suppose I understand why people pursue logic…it can be a fun game at times, and it can be very clear-cut.

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